Unexpected Signs of Disordered Eating: What You Might Be Overlooking

When people think about eating disorders, the classic images that come to mind often involve extreme weight loss, visible food restriction, or frequent purging. But disordered eating can show up in ways that don’t fit these stereotypes, making it harder for individuals to recognize that they might need help. Our relationship to our body and to ourselves is ever present, whether or not you’re certain you have an eating disorder. Many people think a strained relationship to our body looks a certain way, but it can show up in more subtle ways, too. If you experience some of these things and you’re curious about how your relationship to your body might be impacting you, let’s talk!

If you’ve ever found yourself Googling, “Do I have an eating disorder?” or “is it normal for me to think about food this much?”, I wonder if you might also be noticing any of these other behaviors. If any of these sound familiar and you’re curious how to relate differently to yourself, food, or your body, let’s talk!

1. Obsessive Thoughts About Food and Exercise

Do you find yourself constantly thinking about your next meal or feeling guilty if you skip a workout? While these behaviors might seem like dedication, they may cross into disordered territory when they dominate your thoughts or interfere with daily life.

2. Mood Swings Related to Eating or Body Image

Feelings of anxiety, irritability, or sadness around meals or your reflection in the mirror can signal a deeper struggle. Disordered eating often intertwines with emotional wellbeing, leading to cycles of guilt, shame, or stress. 

3. Unusual Eating Rituals

Do you sneak food, eat in secret, or have strict rules about what you can eat, when, or how? These behaviors might feel like personal quirks but could indicate an unhealthy relationship with food.

4. Cyclical Patterns of Restriction and/or Overeating

Do you find yourself in a cycle of restricting food for several days only to binge later, followed by feelings of guilt or plans to “compensate” through extreme dieting or exercise? Bingeing is not about indulgence—it often involves consuming large amounts of food in a short period while feeling out of control or on “autopilot” and ashamed afterward. This can sometimes be followed by attempts to compensate through restriction, purging, or overexercising, creating a harmful cycle.These patterns are common in disordered eating, particularly in binge eating presentations, and can be physically and emotionally exhausting.

5. Physical Symptoms Beyond Weight Changes

It’s not just about weight. Chronic fatigue, hair thinning, digestive issues, or even feeling perpetually cold can all be warning signs of a body struggling to cope with unhealthy eating patterns.

6. A Fear of Certain Foods

Avoiding entire food groups (e.g., carbs, fats) out of fear, or labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” can signal an unhealthy relationship with food that goes beyond simple preference or health goals.

7. Compensatory Behaviors Around Food and Exercise

Do you avoid eating all day to “save up” for a big dinner with friends? Do you turn everything into a workout, like pacing while on the phone or refusing to sit still? These compensatory habits may feel like balance but can signal deeper struggles.

8. Overwhelming Guilt or Shame After Eating

Feeling like you’ve “failed” or “lost control” after eating, regardless of portion size, may point to distorted perceptions around food and self-worth.

Things People Think Are Normal but Might Signal Trouble

Some experiences are so normalized in society that they’re often overlooked as red flags. If you find yourself regularly experiencing these, it might indicate a strained relationship with food or your body:

• Sneaking food when others aren’t watching.

• Skipping meals to “make up” for eating more earlier or planning to eat more later.

• Feeling like you are on “autopilot” or have “lost control” when eating/binging food.

• Planning your whole day or week around food, like specifically seeking out restaurants.

• Having rules about what you can wear or eat based on how you feel about your body.

• Feeling “proud” of hunger or ignoring it completely.

• Fixating on achieving a certain number of steps, calories burned, or other metrics.

• Turning every moment into an exercise opportunity.

• Believing that eating anything “unhealthy” negates other health efforts.

Seeking Help Is a Sign of Strength

If any of this resonates, you’re not alone—and you don’t need to have a “classic” eating disorder to deserve or benefit from support. Disordered eating exists on a spectrum, and early intervention can make a huge difference. Your relationship with food and your body should nurture your well-being, not harm it. Recognizing the problem is the first step toward healing.

To get help with disordered eating in Asheville, NC or to access online therapy for disordered eating anywhere in North Carolina, please reach out to Andrea@TheBreakupTherapist.com.