Therapy for College Students and Young Adults in Asheville, NC


5 Quick Tips for Surviving your Breakup

Newly single or heartbroken? Make sure you're doing these 5 things to help you get over your breakup.

1. Be gentle with yourself
My clients are probably rolling their eyes right now, because I say this a LOT in session. Things suck right now. It’s okay that you don’t feel like eating/exercising/being social/showering. Don’t beat yourself up about it.  Give yourself permission to not be okay for an amount of time that feels healthy and right to you. And then commit to doing one thing a day to get back on track with your more familiar self or routine. This may sound something like, “I get that I feel alone and don’t want to go out into the world today. Today I’ll take a shower and read a good book here. That’s a good step.”

2. Phone a friend
There’s a big chance you just went from spending a lot of your time with your partner, to spending a lot of your time alone. Call your friend, your mom, your roommate, whoever. Let them know what you need. Do you need an ear to listen? Do you need someone to distract you? Is talking about your ex off limits, or do you need someone to join you in trash talking (we’ve all done it)? Take inventory of your needs, and ask those you love to support you.

I know, I know. So hard, but SO important. “No Contact” means no texts, no “coffee as friends,” no wearing his old sweatshirt, and no social media stalking. It certainly means “no sex.” Ask yourself this: have you ever actually felt better after looking at your ex’s Instagram? If it makes you feel terrible, why keep doing it to yourself?

4. Put your phone down
It will make it a lot easier not to text, call, or check out social media. See Rule #2.  Also, having your phone in the other room makes it harder for you to keep checking it to see if he’s texted/liked your post/called.

5. Enjoy that ice cream, but put good things into your body, too
After a break up, it can be fun to “treat ourselves” and shove our faces with that proverbial ice cream. Rarely do we actually feel better after we’ve indulged in too much ice cream/alcohol/carefree sex/pick your poison.  Be intentional and mindful about ‘treating yourself,’ and remember that things like getting outside, cooking a healthy meal, or exercising actually make us feel better. And right now, ‘better’ is good.

I hope you've found these tips to be helpful! Try one new tip a day, and see if you're able to start turning a corner. 

It won't suck forever. Promise,